The secret life of the pantry: Ursa Hall: cuddle puddle

For those of you who have not had the joy of meeting our crazy pooch, let me just tell you: she is really incredible. I've become pretty convinced that her genetic makeup is not at simple as... dog, but that is just me. We got her just before our wedding when she was about 6-8 weeks old from the humane society. She was 7 pounds, and immediately became my baby. Often when she would fall asleep in my lap I would realize she was sucking on my shirt. As a tiny pup left in a box in a dumpster, she needed a family at a time when we really felt a dog would be a blessing. And she certainly has been a bundle of blessing.

So, now she is almost 4 and while she may not be the most well behaved dog (read, you will get jumped on when you walk in our door), she happily rounds out our threesome.

She used to get in a huff when she would put my head on my belly and get kicked by Carter. As she stomped off to another part of the bed, I would tell her, "Oh you don't even know what is coming little miss... Life is about to change for you."

In saying this, I expected that life would change dramatically for her. That she would be demoted from number 1 princess to number 1 dog. She is very sociable and people (including kid) friendly so I was never worried about her vs. Carter. Actually, I think we quickly accepted that it wouldn't be long before it was her AND Carter vs. the world. Something like this:

Life has changed for Ursa just as it has for us. She hasn't been demoted though. In fact, I think she has been promoted. I remember only wanting to be able to scratch her head and cuddle with her while I was in the hospital... trying to convince someone to sneak her in. Would have been nearly impossible, that dog cannot sneak.

And ever since returning from the hospital, she has been at my feet, by my side, laying on top of me. One morning I woke up to find myself face to dog nose as she had, at some point during the night, decided to share my pillow.

I've been so thankful for this small joy, a bundle of warmth that lets me cry into her fur, and consistently lays with her lap on my chest.

And then a friend was telling me about a dream she had. It was a beautiful dream that brought me a ton of comfort but I won't type all of...

(and let me just add this little side note: I don't really know what my faith is at this moment let alone how I feel about dream interpretation, but for the purposes of hearing this dream in its entirety, I have chosen to see it as what I absolutely NEED it to be right now: a message from heaven.)

So this friend of mine tells me (yes Kati, I wrote it down. Since I don't remember my dreams, I've decided to journal about yours, haha.) "...And she said that she likes bears and that your bear is the best of all. That I don't quite get. But she was very assured of that fact. I remember laughing at her. And then Jay said she keeps talking about your bear..."

Let me interrupt a moment to say (as I did during this conversation) a couple of things: #1) There is no bear in a traditional "bear" sense. Clearly, I do not have a real bear but there is also not a stuffed teddy bear of any kind or any kind of importance. #2)Ursa is Latin for bear. We named her this because we had no idea that she would come out looking like she has. When we brought her home, she was our little bear cub.

Okay, back to the story. Friend pauses and says, "Holy hell! Ursa means bear. Your kid likes your dog... Wow. Ursa. I just realized that. I bet its Ursa. She said YOUR bear was her favorite and that YOUR bear was watching over you and she LOVES that bear. Your daughter like your dog. That's amazing to me. I bet she likes her because she bring you comfort."

So now when I need a moment of crying into the soft fur around Ursa's neck, or to hold her tight against my chest... I rest assured that is her purpose for now.

Because not only is that little brown dog smart and athletic and agile and silly and ridiculous... she is expressive... and empathetic. And those are qualities I can be thankful for in any being.