Just another day

Today was just a Saturday. I hate saying that, because since I head back to work on Wednesday, it was probably my last free Saturday for a LONG time.

Thinking of it as just a Saturday off is sad to me because when I am working full time, Saturdays off are a HUGE treat. In fact, I worked through most of the winter without a weekend day off. My typical schedule over the weekend was opening on friday and then mid shifts (10:30-7:30ish) on Saturday and Sunday. I had some vacation days late in November and had a couple saturdays then, but since... not one.

And then! the schedule got posted for the end of February and beginning of March. And there it was... a Saturday off for Lia. I got excited. We talked about setting up the crib, planning the nursery, making curtains. I couldn't believe I was so fortunate to get a Saturday all to myself. Well, and the rest of the world that I never see because they are Monday through Friday schmucks.

But it didn't happen that way. That one precious Saturday off turned into a nightmarish day full of nurses and IV's and drugs and... (shudder) Magnesium Chloride. I went from thinking I would spend my Saturday planning the nursery to actually spending my Saturday thinking about how I would probably be having my baby the very next day. My very small, very sick baby.

And I've been off every Saturday since. My boss emailed Thursday and said jokingly, "Enjoy your last weekend of freedom." So I sortof feel like I squandered today.

But when I think about all the pain and suffering of the last 7 Saturdays off, I realize... its fine to have just a Saturday. It was neither good nor bad. It was just a Saturday. Someday, I think I will be able to look at a day off on the weekend with hope and excitement again. But for now, I'm quite happy working them away.