facebook makes serious things totally dumb

Yesterday, I checked facebook to find that an old acquantaince from college had posted, "I'm 18 weeks and craving twizzlers."
I looked at her page, her pics, her updates to see nothing about pregnancy. What a strange way to announce your pregnancy I thought to myself. I posted a quick comment, "congrats?" and went about life.


Today, I had a message from this friend.
"Pass this along: Ok pretty ladies, it's that time of year again, in support of breast cancer awareness!! Remember last year so many people took part that it made national news and, the constant updating of status reminded everyone why we're doing this and helped raise awareness!! Do NOT tell any males what the status' mean, keep them guessing!! And please copy and paste (in a message )this to all your female friends to see if we can make a bigger fuss this year than last year!!! I did my part... now YOUR turn! The idea is to choose the month you were born and the day you were born. Pass this on to the girls only and lets see how far it reaches around. The last one about the bra went round allovr the world. So you'll write... I'm (your birth month) weeks and I'm craving (your birth date)!!! as your status. 

Example: Feb 14th = I'm 2 weeks and craving Choclolate mints!!

January-1 week
Febuary-2 weeks
March-3 weeks
April-4 weeks
May-6 weeks
June-8 weeks
July-10 weeks
August-12 weeks
September-13 weeks
October-14 weeks
November-16 weeks
December-18 weeks

Days of the month:
1-Skittles
2-Starburst
3-Kit-Kat
4-M&M's
5-Galaxy
6-Crunchie
7-Dairy Milk
8-Lollipop
9-Peanut Butter Cups
10-Meat Balls
11-Twizzlers
12-Bubble Gum
13-Hershey's Kisses
14-Chocolate Mints
15-Twix
16-Resse's Fastbreak
17-Fudge
18-Cherry Jello
19-Milkyway
20-Pickels
21-Creme Eggs
22-Skittles
23-Gummy Bears
24-Gummy Worms
25-Strawberry Pop Tarts
26-Starburst
27-Mini Eggs
28-Kit-Kat Chunkie
29-Double Chocolate Chip Chrunchy Cookies
30-Smarties
31-Chocolate Cake"

I already facebook posted a 150 character response to this stupidity, but I'm in the mood to rant more so here goes.

point number 1: W.T.F does a fake pregnancy post about craving candy have anything to do with breast cancer. Atleast the original one (bra color) had something to do with boobies, which is what awareness is trying to save I thought... But faking all your friends out to pregnancy? dumb.... 

point number 2: If your post has nothing to do with breast cancer, or breasts in general even, how are we supposed to know that you are supporting breast cancer awareness? and itsn't the point of social media to spread the word and get everyone on board? Well if no one knows what you are talking about, how are you being effective? To illustrate my point, I am going to quote all the comments following my friends post yesterday, names removed:

• What?!?!?!

  Friday at 5:00pm · 
• Congrats?

  Friday at 5:37pm · 
• Whaaaaa??

  Friday at 6:46pm · 
• 
  

  Whaaaaat? Congrats girl.

  Friday at 8:12pm · 
• Details, please..
  
  
  So... I'm annoyed. You already get that. (I'm also annoyed that by copy and pasting from facebook, my text formatting is all curfuffled... but I will get over that.)
  But here we are at point number 3, with a... footnote:
  
  Footnote:
  I am a baby loss mama. I understand that this aforementioned title makes me sensitive about things that other people are not sensitive about, sometimes offended for things I would not have been offended about a year ago, etc. There are people that may think that this rant is solely because I have just recently tragically lost my child after a... rough go with the reproductive world.
  And I will admit that this is... partly that.
  
  Point number 3: This post is COMPLETELY insensitive. Facebook is already... quite frankly, a hard place after infant loss. In online support groups I have seen it over and over again. Sometimes being so easily in touch with people I would have fallen out of touch with years ago is painful as they go through healthy pregnancy, perfect babies and what... seems like to me, a happy perfect world while "growing their family." I have only stayed because... because as snobby as this may seem, I follow friends and acquaintances pregnancies to ensure they don't go through anything like I did. Most of the pregnancies I have kept up on and commented or checked in on frequently have been my women friends experiencing trouble. Everything from my friend whose morning sickness wouldn't let up to my friend who just developed pre-eclampsia at 27 weeks and had an emergency c section (this situation was like deja vu, though I am happy to report Alex is doing well and almost a week old, though those of you who pray, keep praying because 1lb 6oz babies have much to overcome.)
  Experiencing loss like this is something you cannot imagine until you are living it. Its horrible and painful and continues to be no matter how much of your life moves on. It does change you. It does make you sensitive to people posting about pregnancies they AREN'T ACTUALLY EXPERIENCING.
  But here is a fact I have to tell myself regularly when I start to feel alone in my situation. ONE IN FOUR PREGNANCIES ENDS IN A LOSS DURING THE PREGNANCY OR EARLY INFANCY. 
  ONE IN FOUR PREGNANCIES...That does not even account for the innumerous (I could probably find the statistic if I wanted) women who experience years of infertility, often unexplained infertility. That means... that if you are of "child rearing age" (this is a vague age group I know, but I bet you can inspect the demographic of your friends and have an idea if you fit into this category), its not a small estimate to suggest that 30% of your female facebook friends are hurting from infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss. So then there are countless posts about, "I'm ____ weeks and craving ____" Well, one sixth (assuming your facebook friends are 50/50 split between genders) of your friends are thinking about how nice it would be to be craving ANYTHING because they were ANY weeks along, just being able to shout it out on facebook without worrying whether they would have to later announce their loss just as publicly.
  
  
  Don't get me wrong. I get the point. Let's raise awareness. But let's do it in a way that is easily relatable to breast cancer, people understand what is going on,  and can support the mission without being offended.
  Personally, I don't think that is so much to ask.
  
  I haven't scripted an exact facebook plan just yet... but since "breast cancer awareness month" is OCTOBER, I figure I have 26 more days to figure it out and start announcing.  If you have any ideas, let me know... I think the person behind the "bra color" status update got to be on the today show or something. That could be fun...
  
  How is this for awareness:
  

  Lia Hall

  Ten months ago, I was 13 weeks and craving ("peanut butter cups"). More realistically, I was craving buttered noodles and saltines because I was throwing up all the time. 

  

  But, by saying "13 weeks" and "peanut butter cups", and having received the "code reader" email, you've now been reminded my birthday is on Friday. Please plan accordingly.

   ·  · 59 minutes ago