So its my birthday...

On Thursday, September 9, 2010... I turned 25 years old.
I had the day off work. It began a little crazy because the night before our car broke down in a liquor store parking lot on the way home from work. We ended up at John and Heidi's most of the day waiting to find out that we were spending a paycheck on the jeep. I went to work the following day and had many staff members tell me happy birthday. My parents and parents in law took me out for Japanese (YUM).

Something about 25 conveyed this... hope. This true, "finally an adult" feeling. I never had that at 18 or 21. But, it felt like, at 25... life was suddenly going to be a big deal.

Well!!! 25 was a big deal. Here is a brief summary.
Since turning 25, I have:
Ridden my bike to work (not every day, I just remember that being a thing of note last fall)
Had a belated birthday celebration with all the women in the family (aka: received MORE gifts)
Blogged
Ridden the rampart reservoir trail for the first time after years of talking about it
Found out I was pregnant
Went to Keystone for a weekend of fun to celebrate Pete and I's third anniversary
Found out I had softball sized fibroids (benign uterine tumors) and therefore a HIGH risk pregnancy.
Enjoyed my first ever paid time off from work. Which afforded me the ability to be at ALL the family holiday celebrations including day early Thanksgiving, Traditional Sunday nutcracker matinee performance, lil yuleaftin (still don't know how to spell after 4 years of marriage to the East's), Christmas Eve slumber party at Grandmas, etc.
Became pretty decided that Baby would be named Carter, girl or boy
Had the most memorable first morning sickness experience ever, sprinting to the bathroom mid manager meeting... good thing I told my bosses early!!
Had my first ER visit ever
Went camping
Ran a restaurant despite debilitating morning sickness
Made a bedskirt on my new sewing machine (christmas present)
Worked a closing shift new Year's Eve and laughed at all the nearly naked girls running around between bars in -15 degrees
Moved in with parents in law
Showed up at super bowl with a growler... of rootbeer (and vanilla ice cream)
Felt baby kick for the first time (post rootbeer float, coincidence, I think not!)
Had my second ER visit ever
Found out baby was a girl!
Had amniocentesis
Rolled my eyes at the suggestion of bed rest
Made fabulous soft, cuddly baby blanket
Registered for Baby gifts
Had my first ambulance ride ever
Hospitalized for 4 days
Nearly died with brain swelling, and kidney failure due to pre-eclampsia
Had major surgery
Carter Marie born nearly 15 weeks early at 1lb 4 oz.
Carter Marie died at 40 hours old due to severe stroke
Took 8 weeks off
Learned the joy of second ever Paid time off by receiving a paycheck for far more than I worked of the month of March
Only on blood pressure medication for 1 week of the estimated 2-6 weeks
Sewed my brains out
Cleaned out baby stuff from Carter's Closet
Remade Carter's closet into fabulous Kitchen island
Cooked
Cleaned
Read
Used lots of kleenex
Journaled
Visited a swanky resort in Tempe, AZ. Sat by pool for four days. Ate Fish tacos. Rolled eyes at the pool bartender hitting me: and introduced him to my mother in law. HA!
Returned to work
Rode my bike again for the first time in months
Planted tomotoes, peppers, and strawberries in topsy turvy planters. Also planted flowers (they died) and herbs (they took over the flowers) Planted pumpkins, but they were eaten by squirrels or birds almost immediately
Paid medical bills
Made birthday gifts
Found out our GM was leaving to run another restaurant in the company
Got Carter's footprints tattooed on my foot
Worked a lot
My brother visited!!
Went to the boat on Lake Pueblo
Spent time with Nephews 1, 2 and 3 while they visited for three weeks
Went camping
Refinished sewing table
Participated in the first annual CASA bike ride for Hope
Brewed beer
Reconnected with an old friend also suffering the trauma of pregnancy gone wrong
Saddened to hear about the death of one of my OG Carlsbad friends due to leukemia
Pete got promoted
Cut off all my hair
Got promoted to General Manager
Got new glasses
Hit the six month marker of our baby being gone. Realized she had been gone longer than we had even known she existed: did not make it easier
Worked 8 days in a row while transitioning to my new "GM" schedule.


And that is 25... in a nutshell.

I find myself looking back on that and hoping that 26 is better. Then, acknowledging that, despite all the pain, 25 was not HORRIBLE. So then I just hope that 26 is not any worse. I've thought maybe, 26 won't be so eventful... and that would be good. But that is probably an unrealistic expectation. A lot can happen in a year.

So.... I'm just left with what sounds like a toast to my passing age:
"Here is to you, 25... a year I can only hope contained my worst day ever. A year that provided joy, pain, tears, laughter, hope, excitement, fear, strength, worry, friends, family, and a whole lot of other things. I thank you for the good and happily let go of you because of the bad. I will not say 'good riddance' because I would hate for that to come back at me... but well, frankly, I'm thinking it.
And to 26. Let's be friends. I'll take whatever you got... but please don't hurt too bad."