well, today it would be going back to bed.
After an excruciatingly long close last night, I had to set an alarm for an early appointment. Doctor's appointment.
There we discussed chemical menopause, major abdominal surgery (yeah, another one), the recovery time and then the abysmal chance of being pregnant again.
While discussing this process he said, "You could always just try and get pregnant again and we could all hope that it goes better this time." I must of looked at him like he was an idiot because he quickly stuttered, "and that works in some situations. But I think in your case with the amount and size of your fibroids, that would be a poor choice."
I replied, "Yeah, I'd like to not almost die again. And if I could get an alive child out of it, that would be choice."
So we talk about the extensive process... He explains depro-lupron... a drug that chemically induces menopause while you are on it. There is a possibility that while on it, the fibroids may shrink making the surgery easier and more likely to be successful. But you experience all the wonderful symptoms of menopause. Hot flashes, emotional bleck, etc etc. Another profound statement from the doc, "Yeah, you will feel really crappy. But there is a prescription we can write you for that."
"Gee doc, lets just throw me back on Magnesium, because that was so much fun... I totally want to feel like that for six months!"
So there you have it. How did I get so lucky.... to be researching how it will feel to be menopausal at age 25? to be kissing my child's urn instead of her? to be torn between wanting another so I'm not the weird lady who only has a dead kid... and not wanting another because it will never be her?
Sigh... but I guess this is just another day. This is just our new normal.
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2. I hope you had coffee
3. good job for sticking up for yourself and not dying again because I like you and don't want you to leave any time soon
4. at least it's not permanent menopause at age 25. I'm not sure if that helps or not.
5. It's really hot out this week.
6. My A/C in the car is broken
7. I will make you cookies if you have surgery again
8. don't forget to take a calicum supplement. we alos like your bones and don't want them to break any time soon.
9. there is adoption. but that's up to you two to decide if it's an option for you.
10. I got my hair thinned and it looked like we shaved a small dog.
11. want to have lemonade on my porch this weekend?
12. At least the doctor didn't lie and say it would be fine and there would be no side effects. I hate it when they lie and then you have tons of side effects and you are like "Screw you doc why didn't you tell me about these?????"
13. you are awesome.
14. really really awesome.