Todays random thought

My grief counselor says I need to be gentle and forgiving of myself during this time. I totally and completely sucked at that today. But is it being too critical of yourself to say that you have been too critical of yourself?
We can go around in this circle for hours but here is what it comes down to:
Carter would have been two months old today. But she is not. And for that... I am sad. And mad. And hopeless. And faithless.
If you go back before march... i should have been 34 weeks pregnant today. But I am not. And for that... I am sad. And mad. And hopeless. And faithless.
Let's just say... I had a bad day. And maybe someday the fourth through the eighth of the month will not be devastating. But May was not the month for that to happen. So lets just get through this week and begin again.

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